There are lots of movies and books that I really enjoy, that mean a lot to me. There are a lot less movies and books that I intensely wish I had made. That I wish I had been a part of.
It can feel like the creator was in my mind and made something specifically for me. Like they somehow used my being to build it.
Part of me gets depressed. The things that feel specific to me have already been reflected in ways that likely surpass any level of skill I’ll be able to achieve. That feeling that someone got there first.
The other part of me understands that this discovery is important. That something within these special pieces explains something about me. That my intense reaction of jealousy is actually a guiding bolt.
I complain a lot about being lost, but finding these is like finding a map. It’s just about understanding how to use it.
So you have to know why you react the way you do. What is it that connects you to it so directly?
This requires study and patience. It requires revisiting over and over, doing hard reflection, not shying away from definition.
Grab ahold and don’t let go.